Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s here now, writing to you.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Be who you already are.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

What is the most sentimental item you inherited from someone dear to you and what does it mean to you?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

The sadness was still there.

Why do many women like tall men?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why is porn so addictive?

I had run out of hope.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are like me, then.

Do you think most people would rather be a certain race or are most people happy with the race they are?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Does a person with schizophrenia hear voices?

And the sadness?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Why are black people seen as scary or a threat to some people?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Overthinking is killing me day-by-day. What should I do?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

I was tired of fighting.

How do you identify a woman player?

It’s still here.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.